Marriage Repair Attempts

I found this empty draft just now and I wonder what I was going to write back in 2009 when I created this. I have a vastly different view of what attempts I made in my marriage to my first wife these days. Mostly because I’ve forgotten so much, but also because I’ve just put the whole thing behind me. I am so happy with JM, it’s frickin’ amazing. I think the biggest thing I did to try to repair my marriage to Melanie was to be patient. My teacher, Burton Lester, advised me to just forgive everything that she did that was hurting me and to just LOVE her. At first, this was incredibly hard because I took everything she did personally and I let it hurt me. Her lies, her infidelity, and her basic low sense of morality and honesty got the best of me. I wanted to get her to change so much. As soon as I decided that I didn’t have to let any of that bother me, I was fine. I gathered so much strength by letting it go. I remember how she used to leave every time I was putting the children down to sleep. I be in one of their bedrooms and “Vroom!” she would start the car and take off. It was easier to do it while I was putting the children to sleep since I wasn’t in any way able to try to convince her to stay home instead of run to the person she was having an affair with. I got to the point, where I was at peace with myself and even when she would leave. I would still be awake when she got home late in the morning. She would walk in and I would just say something like, “Did you have fun?” Other times, I would be upstairs in bed and she would come in and I could smell another man on her. It was quite turbulent at times, but like I said, as soon as I let it all go and not bother me, I gained strength I didn’t know I had.